Proud Moment/Sad Moment

While I was upstairs changing the laundry around, I heard Hayden begin to gag himself. I rushed downstairs (too late, of course) to find Nicholas holding a blanket in front of Hayden for him to vomit in. When I picked Hayden up to change his shirt, Nicholas pulled Hayden's blue feeding seat up off of its base, took the blanket and wiped the vomit up from the base of the feeding seat. I praised Nicholas for doing such a great job of taking care of his brother, but on the inside I was sad that he even thought of doing that. Hayden's vomiting has become such a part of our lives, that even a 3 yr old stops watching the Backyardigans to take care of his big brother--not something a 3 yr old should be doing, but something to be very proud of. Still, I am in tears by Nick's actions. We don't and never will expect Nick to take care of Hayden, and we certainly don't want him to feel obligated to. If he chooses to, then that would be wonderful. I just pray that we never make him feel that we expect him to take care of Hayden.

We are very conscious of trying to make Nick's life as normal as we possibly can. Although, we know that things won't always work out that way, we will do our best. It's so hard for us when we feel as though we have to choose one child over the other. Whenever I have to miss out on something of Nick's because I can't take any time off of work since it is all reserved for Hayden's appointments and hospital stays, it breaks my heart. No one should feel as though he/she has to choose one child over the other. Even though that is NOT really what you are doing, you can't help but be upset by having to "choose" every time you have to do it. I know one day, Nicholas will understand this on some level and know that we never chose Hayden over him. Hayden just needed us more.

What Nicholas did tonight was not a surprise. He has always been very sweet and thoughtful when it comes to Hayden. He is great at making sure he has toys to play with and gives him the biggest hugs each night before bed. Not only does Nicholas take great care of his brother, he likes to take care of mom and dad. He is always sharing his snacks with us and making sure we have pillows and blankets when we snuggle up to watch one of his favorite shows, "Max and Ruby." We are proud to be parents to such a caring boy.